Posted by S.R.Savell
Hiya Creepers 🙂
Through March 10th to April 1st, I’ll be doing a book giveaway on Goodreads. That’s right: Paper Hearts now lives!
I almost can’t believe it. After two years of work and worry, setbacks and blind faith, it’s all paying off. I feel like a productive, worthy human being now, if that makes any sense. If you can imagine having my normally pessimistic attitude, then watching something actually work out . . . I don’t know. I mean, the first time I held a copy of the book, I wasn’t screaming or crying or anything. I was just standing there, staring down at this little paperbound novel, feeling a strange sort of happiness that I’d never felt before. I wasn’t manic with joy, like I thought I’d be. I was just totally and completely happy, peaceful. It was bizarre. For the first time in my entire 21 years, I felt I had finally done something truly worthwhile. I liken it to holding a firstborn child (not that I would know, but I can imagine the feeling). That’s what this novel is to me after all, my baby, my brainchild. And now it’s out there, in a world that may never really accept it as legitimate or important. But as any good parent does, I accept my child’s faults, love them unconditionally, and do all I can to help them face the road ahead.
Fail or fly, do or die: that’s the ultimatum I’ve put on myself. I’ve hinged every dream on the relative “success” of my work, told myself repeatedly that in order for the novel to be good or meaningful, it must sell-sell-sell. And you know, I think that cheapens the experience. At the end of the day, I want to write because I love to, not because I have to. I write for others because I want to reach people who need to hear what I have to say. I want to write for a better cause than the love of money. That’s what I keep telling myself, and it’s honestly how I feel and what I believe. But another undeniable truth is that maybe I’m trying so hard not to think of my story in terms of monetary success because, more than anything, I’m terrified of failure: and I can’t fail if I’m not trying. To think that something I love so much, that I’ve invested so much of my heart and soul in, actually means nothing at all–it’s too painful to even consider.
Anywho, thanks for stopping by, and double thanks if you stayed through all that mush mush crap.
Now, y’all come back now, you hear? 🙂
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Tags: 2014, author blog post, convictions, first book, free book, free stuff, Goodreads giveaway, gotta have some faith, it has to have meaning, Michelle Pearce, Nathaniel Slater, new book release, new writer, PAPER HEARTS, paperbound love, romance, S.R.Savell, second guesses, Supernatural GIF, this blog is very therapeutic for me, this is my brainchild, true story, weepy confessions, YA novel, you should enter